Building Mental Fitness - A Health Adventure
When you or someone you care about is faced with a diagnosis that makes the future feel uncertain, there is no right or wrong way to cope.
From personal experience of this, when everything becomes uncertain, it is possible to build mental strength in the face of such adversity.
Finding Strength in Adversity: Our 'Health Adventure'
2015 was the year that cancer visited our lives. This experience allowed us to create a story that would later be referred to as our 'health adventure’, on account of our solution focused journey and it’s happy ending.
It is one of many experiences we have faced as a family that helped us to strengthen our mental fitness. Lessons were learned, bonds strengthened, and a resilience story generated. All that transpired from this year's long health challenge was memorable and invaluable. Here are some of the pearls of wisdom that we gleaned along the way;
1. Review your story
Change the story or change the meaning!
Before we knew the outcome, we predicted the best version of many possible plot lines to take us forward. We decided to change the cancer story. We scripted ourselves as thrivers rather than victims and we created a survival story.
Ensure that the stories that you tell yourself are based on fact and best hopes not fears. Regardless of your circumstances, if the story you tell yourself and the world is not helpful, change the story or change the meaning. Perhaps the most essential lesson is not to allow the problem to define or typecast you. "Yes, I'm the guy who got cancer. I'm also the gym bunny, the parent, the joker, the worker". Be clear about who you are in this story.
2. Navigate your journey
Reset your compass!
Anytime is a good time to reset the compass and review your life journey. This can help you to go forward with pace, purpose and a plan. It also keeps a future focus helping you imagine life beyond the problem. Asking myself ‘what do we want from life when this is over’. These were all ways to create an ideal image for life going forward and then behave as though this vision could become a reality.
For us this was about seeking adventure. Acquiring the map for an exciting bike challenge and researching fabulous holiday destinations as a post treatment reward were examples of how we sustained positive energy and a future focus, then steered ourselves towards these outcomes.
3. Nurture your wellbeing
Rest, recharge and reconnect!
Remind yourself of your ability to nurture your wellbeing by making healthy choices that boost your wellness. The solutions are never rocket science, but often the simplest solutions can be most challenging to put into practice.
We discovered that removing coffee, citrus drinks, spicy foods and fried foods reduced chemo indigestion. This made a massive difference to managing treatment.
Embracing wholesome habits and health inducing activities albeit with adjustments, allowed us to enjoy bike rides, beach walks and other outdoor adventures. Getting fresh air and quality sleep, being in outdoor spaces and stomping in the wilderness acted as a physical and psychological boost to our vitality .
4. Choose your mindset!
Pursue positive thinking!
This meant spring cleaning our thoughts and clearing the clutter of our minds. We learned that keeping a positive mindset helped us to focus on fact rather than fear. Giving our attention to what was possible was important. Creating a 'can do' thinking style fed our positive mindset.
Overcoming 'a touch of cancer' seemed like a positive reframe of what felt like a devastating story. Rather than assuming that treatment would result in ‘wipe out’, or worse not work, it was important to invite unhelpful ideas to take a hike. Listening carefully to the body and focusing on what is possible is always a useful strategy.
Managing a healthy mindset is like gardening. You can dig deep into your reserves on tough days, cut back dead growth and sew seeds for new and helpful thoughts to grow.
5. Build resilience
Avoid being a casualty to life's missiles and curveballs!
This can be aided using the following strategies; change what you can and accept what you cannot, don't sweat the small stuff, learn to bounce back, know when to batten down the hatches. Most importantly keep a sense of humour!
At best, being able to view things lightly (a form of cognitive resilience), was present throughout the course of this health adventure. Humour helped us to avoid heavy heartedness and shift our psychological energy just when a pick me up was most needed.
There were many difficult moments where laughter and mischief helped us to buffer the impact of bad news that threatened to unravel us. Other occasions saw us preparing to ride out the storm when infection set in and all that mattered was to ensure survival.
6. Take action
Be your competent self!
This refers to the importance of continuing to be activated and sustain purpose, meaning and roles. This could be about being a parent, a friend, supporter, provider, joker or a worker. Whatever you bring to the world connects you to your capability. The simplest of contributions, whether it's about creating, care giving, helping, problem solving; participation reminds us of who we are and our potential to make an impact.
That said, managing your expectations is also a wise strategy.When faced with adversity, giving yourself permission to operate at at ⅔ capacity is a must. In the middle of a health challenge we learned that developing skills in prioritisation is invaluable. This is particularly important for those of us with high expectations.
A little and often approach to daily activities, having regular power naps and energy reservation become vital. Keep doing the things that matter most in whatever way is possible whilst hanging on to the idea that if you feel brave trying something new can boost energy and morale.
7. Celebrate your success
Celebrate breakthroughs!
No matter how big or small, celebrating your successes can positively boost your mental fitness. Mark every moment that reflects your competency to boost your energy. As grand as obtaining the new job or as simple as recognising that your success rate at surviving difficult days is 100% are equally important.
We discovered the benefits of creating a regular check in on our progress to keep us moving forward and acknowledge and celebrate every hurdle we had overcome. Do this with the people who cheer you on to reinforce the impact of your support team and to rally your team along the way.
8. Assemble your team
Nurture meaningful connections!
Choose the company of people who strengthen your position and contribute something helpful to build your dream team. Choose your company wisely and keep connected to them so that they are easy to round up when this is needed.
As a family we regrouped together regularly to support each other and maintain a dialogue.Opportunities to share thoughts, discuss treatment and prognosis was important. That said, having a wider team; safe space to acknowledge the fear factor and to express it out loud was both courageous and invaluable.
9. Embrace your health adventure
Create moments that matter!
Embracing adventure is always possible, even in the face of challenges. Fun, excitement and joy was a must for us. It involved live music gigs, visiting new places and enjoying family events. We had coco under the stars, we had campfires, mini-breaks in cosy bothy’s. We even had chemo date nights! No matter the circumstances, it is always possible to tap into your adventurous streak to keep your resilience tank topped up.
It has always been my belief that lessons are transferable. What we learn in any one situation can up skill us to overcome challenges in other areas of our lives.
As a family, our year of uncertainty strengthened our capacity for mental fitness and helped us to become the strong, wise and wonderful women that we are.
None of us would choose a story like this for ourselves or anyone we love. Yet it’s a reminder that in life, we can't always choose the outcomes, but we can choose how we experience the journey.
#100% Pure Polly – Living Life’s Adventure…
Maybe you have experienced this story or something similar? If you would like to share this with me contact me on polly@adventurouscoaching.com
I plan to dedicate my next blog to the subject of mindset. In the meantime I wish you all a happy and energetic week.
Do you want to know more about how to live your life's adventure?
